I just realized that I am a child.

I just realized that I am a baby infant child. Like, that’s truly where I’m at. It’s truly where I’m at.

I am such an infant, infant, infant... in terms of my human experience. Okay?

Like, I have just been chatting with people that are 50 years old, essentially. Like my parents, my parents’ friends, right? And they have just been through so many things, and like, I’m just so fascinated with speaking with older people in general.

I’m very drawn to the older folk, okay? And I’m talking, like, old people, right? 70, 80. You know what I’m saying?

Because they just have this wealth of... of wisdom. It’s not even wisdom. It’s just like stories. They’re just talking about their life. Like, their experiences, what they’ve been through, who they are, and where they’re going, and like all of these things are just so, so fascinating to me.

Anyways. I feel like I’m going off on sidetracks here, but... I don’t know, I guess I just, I was speaking with my parents and their friends, and it just, I don’t know, I just walked upstairs, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks where I’m like, oh my God.

I am such a beginner at life.

Like, I have so much that I’m going to get to experience, and I have so many things that I’m going to go through. And I guess sometimes I feel like everything’s happening so quick and like, we’re gonna need to figure everything out now, and like, time, ah, what do I do? Decisions. I don’t know. And...

Wow, I don’t know. It just... I don’t know.

Yeah, it’s just making me realize, like, wow. Of course I feel confused, because I’m a baby. I’m a kid.

Of course, like, these things that I thought would happen by now that are not happening right now, which I am accepting, baby. But, like, I guess, yeah, like the things that I’ve thought about, the things that I’ve wanted, the things that I’m going for or whatever, whatever, whatever, they... I guess I could just get so impatient with my life.

Because I’m thinking about this right now because I’m saying it. Oh my God, it’s so ridiculous. Like, I know that that’s ridiculous.

You know, like, I think it’s because I’m impatient. Like, I get so impatient with life because I’m like, I want to have all of these things by now, because I feel like a grandma... like, I’m not a grandma, but like, I don’t know... actually, that’s completely untrue. I do not feel like a grandma at all.

I feel this pressure to have certain things done, completed, or like, en route to. I don’t know why. I think it’s just like, conditioning, societal pressure, your upbringing, you know, the structures that are in place, mental health, you know, that’s totally a playoff player here.

But, wow.

What a great realization. A revelization, a remembrance, if you will, baby, that like, I am a kid. And I have so, so much... life is going to happen to me and like, just relax, chill out, sister Sue.

Like, life is gonna give you everything. Everything, just relax. Stop trying to rush your life so much.

Like, stop sprinting towards... like, why are you, are you running? Jenna, why are you running, girl?

Just, kid, relax. Take it easy. Take it easy.

Wow.

Anyways, um, I’m like... this is totally all I have to say right now, and I don’t even, yeah, well. Maybe... No, I’m like, I really, like, I was going to...

I was going to try and put a little spin on the end of this of like, now, if this is you, and, you know, follow your dreams or something, and I’m like, nope, don’t even... it’s not what I want to do.

I just want to say goodbye.

So? Goodbye.

My whole MO is making mistakes. That’s what I’m going to do this summer. I’m gonna make mistakes. I am going to. I’m gonna do the wrong thing. All the time, and I’m gonna keep doing it. I’m gonna say yes to the wrong invitation. I’m gonna say no when I should have said yes. I’m probably going to kiss somebody. There, I said it. I’m probably gonna kiss someone that I shouldn’t. For sure. I’m going to go to the party. I’m gonna stay in. I am going to listen to my intuition, and I’m going to go for the glory, and I’m going to be wrong. And I’m going to be right.

But what I do know for sure is that I’m going to be making mistakes, and that’s what I’m going to be doing this summer, starting right now. Starting right now, that is my MO. Also, I don’t even know what MO means. M-O, that is my mission. Onward. That’s what MO means to me right now. My mission onward is to make mistakes.

I have been feeling like, if I don’t make the perfect choice and be this perfect person in this present moment, my whole future is going to collapse and fall apart. And I know this cannot be true. But I have been operating at like such a level of responsibility where I’m like, I need to do this thing, like it has to be perfect. I’m just like, enough, Jenna. Enough. It makes no sense.

And I am only where I’m at today because I’ve made so many mistakes. And somewhere along the way, you guys, I need to spill the beans about something. Somewhere along the way I started judging myself. And it’s only came to light recently. Because I’ve had a lot of my friends, strangers, family, whatever, they always come to me and share with me their stuff. They always tell me their things. Their mistakes, if you will. Because they always say to me, Jenna, you don’t have a judgmental bone in your body. Like I feel like I can tell you anything. I feel like I can be whoever I am around you and you don’t care.

And it’s so true. I don’t have a judgmental bone in my body towards other people.

When it comes to myself... I have been judging myself. I’m judging myself all the time. Like I’m putting myself under this microscope and I’m like assessing myself as though I’m something linear, as if my life is like a start and then a finish. When I’m like, wait a second. I have the universe inside of me, babe. Like we are here. I am here. This is what’s going on for me too. Like I’m having all these experiences. And I have to stop judging myself. I have to start allowing myself to continue to make these mistakes because every time I make mistakes, oh my god, it just helps me grow and I learn and I evolve and that’s the whole point.

And so yeah, I just wanted to share this with anyone who, you know, listens to me. That’s my whole MO. My mission onward. Again, I don’t know if MO’s the right word here, but my MO, my mission onward... wait, is onward? Yeah, it starts with an O. I was like, wait. Fuck. Um, but this is my mission onward. To make mistakes. I am going to just keep ripping it. I gotta keep ripping it.

And on the outside looking in, someone who knows me might be like, what? Like, this doesn’t feel new to me. No, there has been an internal shift. Because I realize I have been judging myself. And I don’t judge other people. I really could give 2 shits what other people are doing. Because I see other people so, so just like as this perfect mess, cluster of energy, atoms, DNA, years and years and years and thousands of years of evolution. I’m just like, you are a beautiful masterpiece. You are a mess and you are a human and I love it.

And somewhere along the way I stopped realizing and remembering, that’s what it is, I stopped remembering that those same things apply to me.

And I’m gonna allow myself to keep making mistakes and smile through it and not judge myself through it and just like, mess up. I’m gonna keep messing up. That’s what I’m gonna do. And I know it’s like silly because it’s like, this summer I’m gonna make mistakes. But I really mean for the rest of my life. And I’m just like, I need to be cool with it because it’s going to keep happening. And so I’m just like, I need to get over myself.

So. In case you’re wondering, yes, I will be making a lot of mistakes and... jokes on... capitalism. I’m not going to judge myself anymore. And I am gonna blame capitalism. I need something to put my finger at in this very moment. So capitalism it is. Joke’s on you.

And I’m reading this passage right now and I just want to read it out loud. I wanna read it out loud. That’s what I want to do. Like it’s so crazy to me that I’m like... wait, is this what I... yes. Okay. I’m just gonna rip it.

So I’m on page 182. And the little section within this chapter is called Impermanence and the Cycles of Life. And it goes.

However, as long as you are in the physical dimension and linked to the collective human psyche, physical pain, although rare, is still possible. This is not to be confused with suffering. The mental emotional pain. All suffering is ego created and due to resistance.

I underlined that for a reason. Because I’ve realized so much throughout these last couple of weeks, well, the last couple of years, let’s get real. But especially the last couple of weeks reading this book, that all of my suffering is created by thoughts that stem from psychological time. Psychological time being thinking about the past or thinking about the future. And then me resisting the present moment because I’m thinking about the past or the future. Okay?

Anyways, I will continue to read on here.

As long as you are in this dimension, you are still subject to its cyclical nature and the law of impermanence of all things, but you no longer perceive this as bad, it just is. Through allowing the isness of all things, a deeper dimension underneath the play of opposites reveals itself to you, as an abiding presence, an unchanging deep stillness, an uncaused joy beyond good and bad. This is the joy of being, the peace of God.

A caveat, when he says the word being, he’s talking about God. When I say God, I mean the universe, nature, whoever Siddhartha Gautama found when he was enlightened under the tree, whoever Jesus was talking about. Like I’m talking about that thing. However anyone else sees it, I have no idea. But anyways, I just kind of wanted to put that out there as well.

And I just love that he said allowing the isness of all things. Just allowing things to be what they are. Because human beings, we have this... it’s an illusion, through my understanding. Of cause and effect, good and bad, right and wrong, evil and good, whatever. And he’s saying that underneath that, underneath our mind perceiving things as good and bad, cause and effect, right and wrong, whatever, is the isness of all things, which completely prevails. They prevail against this whole notion of something being good or bad. It just is. And he’s saying that is the joy and the peace of God. Okay?

Anyways. On the level of form, also when he’s saying form, he’s just talking about reality. He’s talking about being alive, being a human being. Like physical reality.

So on the level of form, there is birth and death, creation and destruction, growth and dissolution of seemingly separate forms. This is reflected everywhere, in the lifecycle of a star or a planet, a physical body, a tree, a flower, in the rise and fall of nations, political systems, civilizations, and in the inevitable cycles of gain and loss in the life of an individual. There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate, and you have to let them go in order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to happen. If you cling and resist at that point, it means you are refusing to go with the flow of life and you will suffer.

I’m going to read that again. If you cling and resist at that point, a.k.a. when you cling and resist to transformation, when you resist these cycles of life, then you will suffer. Period.

And it’s so true because it’s so much resistance moving on.

It is not true that the upcycle is good and the downcycle is bad, except in the mind’s judgment. So true. Growth is usually considered positive, but nothing can grow forever. If growth of whatever kind were to go on and on, it would eventually become monstrous and destructive. Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other. The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realization. You must have failed deeply on some level, or experienced some deep loss or pain, to be drawn to the spiritual dimension.

I can concur.

Or perhaps your very success became empty and meaningless and so turned out to be failure. Failure lies concealed in every success, and success in every failure. In this world, which is to say the level of form, everybody fails sooner or later. Of course. And every achievement eventually comes to naught. All forms are impermanent. You can still be active and enjoy manifesting and creating new forms and circumstances, but you won’t be identified with them. You do not need them to give you a sense of self. They are not your life, only your life situation.

And I circled this part here because I’ve talked about this so many times with, again, anyone who will listen to me, about manifesting and creating. And I’ve been struggling with it because when I am in the process of creating or manifesting or dreaming or whatever, I have realized now, the suffering that I have been causing myself by doing that has been because I am attaching them to my life. And not recognizing them as impermanent. Not recognizing them as, they will change. I think I’m like addicted to trying to find permanence. And trying to make something permanent, which is ludicrous.

I will continue.

Your physical energy is also subject to cycles. It cannot always be at peak. There will be times of low as well as high energy. There will be periods where you are highly active and creative, but there may also be times when everything seems stagnant, when it seems that you’re not getting anywhere, not achieving anything. A cycle can last from a few hours to a few years. There are large cycles and small cycles within these large ones. Many illnesses are created through fighting against the cycles of low energy, which are vital for regeneration. The compulsion to do so, and the tendency to derive your sense of worth and identity from external factors such as achievement, is an inevitable illusion as long as you identify with the mind.

Me. I just can relate to this so much. Like pain body... like these are, like your body physically will like make you sick, make you feel hurt, make you feel weak, give you this autoimmune disease or whatever. And I think it’s because it’s just forcing you to stop when like you don’t want to stop, because you are resisting a cycle that you’re in. I’m realizing this about myself.

Anyways.

This makes it harder and impossible for you to accept the low cycles and allow them to be. Thus the intelligence of the organism may take over as a self protective measure and create an illness in order to force you to stop, so that the necessary regeneration can take place.

Do you hear that? The intelligence of the organism, a.k.a. the intelligence of our body, will literally give us a sickness, an autoimmune disease, a mental health disorder, a something, to force us to stop what we are doing. It’s so crazy to me.

The cyclical nature of the universe is closely linked with the impermanence of all things and situations. The Buddha made this essential part of his teachings. All conditions are highly unstable and in constant flux, or as he put it, impermanence is a characteristic of every condition, every situation you will ever encounter in your life. It will change, disappear, or no longer satisfy you.

Impermanence is also central to Jesus’ teachings. Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break in and steal.

I don’t know if anyone is following, but stay with me.

As long as a condition is judged as good by your mind, whether it be a relationship, a possession, a social role, a place, or your physical body, the mind attaches itself to it and identifies with it. It makes you happy, makes you feel good about yourself, and it may become part of who you are or think you are. But nothing lasts in this dimension where moth and rust consume. Either it ends or it changes or it may undergo a polarity shift. The same condition that was good yesterday or last year has suddenly or gradually turned into bad. The same condition that made you happy then makes you unhappy. The prosperity of today becomes the empty consumerism of tomorrow. The happy wedding and the honeymoon become the unhappy divorce or the unhappy coexistence. Or a condition disappears so its absence makes you unhappy. When a condition or situation the mind has attached itself to and identified with changes or disappears, the mind cannot accept it. It will cling to the disappearing condition and resist the change. It is almost as if a limb were being torn off your body.

Preaching to the choir. Like this is what my mind does. My mind attaches itself to something, anything, doesn’t even matter. And when that thing inevitably changes, a.k.a. the law of the universe, my mind... oh my god. I am completely distraught. And it’s nonsense. It’s a waste of time to be doing so. Moving on.

We sometimes hear of people who have lost all of their money or whose reputations have been ruined committing suicide. Those are extreme cases. Others, wherever a major loss of one kind or another occurs, just become deeply unhappy or make themselves ill. They cannot distinguish between their life and their life situation.

That is my journey. That’s the journey I’m on right now. Distinguishing between my life and my life situation.

Continuing on. He says, I recently read about a famous actress who died in her 80s. As her beauty started to fade, she became ravaged by old age, and she grew desperately unhappy and became a recluse. She too had identified with a condition, her external appearance. First the condition gave her a happy sense of self, then an unhappy one. If she had been able to connect with the formless and timeless life within, she could have watched and allowed the fading of her external form from a place of serenity and peace. Moreover, her external form would have become increasingly transparent to the light shining through form. Through the light shining through form, her age’s true nature... so her beauty would not really have faded, but simply become transformed into spiritual beauty. Maybe. Obviously. However, nobody told her that this is possible. The most essential kind of knowledge is not yet widely accessible.

So much of our suffering, y’all. So much of our suffering is this. Like if we just allowed the thing to change, however it may be. Like something else is on that side and then that thing is going to change. So like not getting attached to the next transformation.

Oh, I’m gonna continue on.

The Buddha taught that even your happiness is dukha, a Pali word meaning suffering or unsatisfactoriness. It is inseparable from its opposite. This means that your happiness and unhappiness are in fact one. Only the illusion of time separates them. A.k.a. the mind, the ego. Okay? This is not being negative. It is simply recognizing the nature of things so that you don’t pursue an illusion for the rest of your life. Nor is it saying that you should no longer appreciate pleasant or beautiful things or conditions. But to seek something through them that they cannot give, an identity, a sense of permanency, and fulfillment, is a recipe for frustration and suffering. A.k.a. anytime you’re pursuing anything in life thinking that it’s going to give you any sense of permanency, any sense of, ah this is it, or fulfillment... it’s a recipe for disaster. Why? Because the law of impermanence. All things change.

Now, I just find... I’m going to continue reading on, but I find this so fucking interesting because I have been thinking so much about social media, advertising, and how all this is connected to like the mind. And he goes on to say, the whole advertising industry and the consumer society would collapse if people became enlightened and no longer sought to find their identity through things.

Oh my god. Seriously. Because I just, I realize so much, like me consuming social media, me being online, me existing in society. I mean there’s billboards everywhere, everything is an advertisement. Everything is telling you that you need something. We live in a consumerism society. We live in capitalism. Even if you were not in a capitalistic society, this is still happening. There’s still billboards. There’s still advertising. Yes it’s social media, but yes it’s way bigger than that.

Moving on.

The more you seek happiness in this way, the more it will elude you. Nothing out there will ever satisfy you except temporarily and superficially, but you may need to experience many disillusionments before you realize that truth. I’m realizing it, y’all. Things and conditions can give you pleasure, but they will also give you pain. Things and conditions can give you pleasure, but they cannot give you joy. Nothing can give you joy. Joy is uncaused and arises from within as the joy of being. It is an essential part of the inner state of peace, the state that has been called the peace of God. It is your natural state, not something you need to work hard for or struggle to even attain.

Many people never realize this. Many people never realize that there can be no quote unquote salvation in anything they do, possess, or attain. Those who do realize it often become world weary and depressed. If nothing can give you true fulfillment, what is there left to strive for? What is the point in anything?

Trust, I’ve been asking these questions a lot. Because it’s true. It’s like okay, if all this is a bunch of BS, like what in the hell is the point? Because I know there has to be a point. But it’s like, finding a point means striving, and striving means that’s gonna change, which means more suffering. So I’ve literally been like, oh my god, what in the hell?

So I will continue reading on.

The Old Testament prophet must have arrived at such a realization when he wrote, I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind.

When you reach this point, you are one step away from despair and one step away from enlightenment. A Buddhist monk once told me, all I have learned in the 20 years that I have been a monk I can sum up in one sentence. All that arises passes away, this I know. What he meant of course was this. I have learned to offer no resistance to what is. I have learned to allow the present moment to be and to accept the impermanent nature of all things and conditions. Thus I have found peace.

To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This then is no longer dependent upon things being a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your interdependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them while they last. All those things of course will still pass away. Cycles will come and go, but with the dependency gone, there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.

The happiness that is derived from secondary sources is never that deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of being, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter a state of non-resistance. Being takes you beyond the polar opposites of the mind and frees you from dependency on form. Even if everything were to collapse and crumble all around you, you would still feel a deep inner core of peace. You may not be happy, but you will be at peace.

Signed, sealed, and delivered, baby.

That’s what I wanted to share today, and I don’t even need to go into it more. I hope you have a beautiful, magical, glorious day, and... read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

Because holy shit.

And you know, I kind of had some... I had some sour news. That came into my orbit. Just some sour news. Okay. You know what? So I closed my laptop. I was like, I’m going outside. This is the perfect time to go on a walk.

I start walking to one of my paths that I go on and I hear these like... I hear these little girls talking. Like I think I see someone coming. I think I see someone coming. And like I hear noise and laughter and like yeah, just like little girl voices and giggling.

And I’m like, what is going on?

Out of the corner of my eye, I see these little girls. They’re on this path that I’m on right now. And they’re just going up and down this hill on their bike. Just having such a good time.

And it just hit me. I just had this overwhelming voice message feeling, whatever.

A tale of oldest time baby. Just love is all around you even if it’s not about you. There is joy. There is love. There is so many amazing things happening. All of the time. All around you. And just, if something... if love isn’t... if you’re not feeling love, if you’re not feeling joy, if you’re not feeling like child, kid like laughter... it doesn’t mean it doesn’t fucking exist.

And I just feel like I needed that reminder because again, I just had a sour moment. A sour moment. There was no love in that room. No, there wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. And that doesn’t mean that it’s anything to even like hold on to. Just a reminder of like, oh my god, go outside. Go on a little walk, ski baby. And just see.

All of these beautiful things happening around you. And I just needed that reminder. I did. Cause I’m like, you know, it’s not going as I would prefer. Classic. Absolute classic. But there is still so much love happening all around me. Even if I’m not directly being the one affected. In this moment in time. My turn’s coming.

It almost actually kind of reminds me of... now that I’m thinking about it... when I used to serve, like serve tables, work in restaurants, whatever. You know, every one in a blue moon there would just be like a table or a party or people that would come in and they would just like tip fat. Like they would walk in. So this is how it works when you work in a restaurant. Usually there is like some system in play of like, we are rotating. So if this table comes in then Jenna gets it, then Carter gets it, then Adam gets it, then Taylor gets it. Okay. Then you just like keep rotating in this circle. That’s why it’s fair, as fair as possible, right?

And sometimes like, you just know. There’s like certain people that come in, certain groups that come in, where you’re like, boom, they’re gonna spend a shit ton of money and you’re gonna get a fat tip. You’re gonna get a fat tip.

And I always knew when that was happening. Like, if it’s not my turn right now, it’ll be my turn tomorrow. It’ll be my turn next week. That’s why, because I had some co-workers sometimes that would be so, so bitter and jealous of other co-workers getting those like big tips, those big tables, those good nights, those lucky rotations, those whatever. And it always confused me why people were bitter. Because I’m like, dude, your turn is coming. Like your turn is coming. This is how the system works, baby. Like so and so is having a really good night but tomorrow might be your night. Like you never really know.

And I think that’s... I don’t know why I’m thinking about all of this right now on my walk. But I think maybe it’s because I needed to remind myself of this right now. Of like, okay...

It’s not... it’s... it might just not be my turn. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It’s the same with love. Like I’m not feeling love right now. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Go outside. Look at those little girls. Like they are having a blast. They are having a blast. Giggling. Making me feel so happy. Then guess what? Oh, I did feel love. I did feel joy. Because I was infected by their happiness. Their joy. Their whatever.

And it’s just like... don’t get so... Jenna, I’m talking to myself, I’m not talking to anyone else. Like Jenna, don’t get so attached and gripped towards these outcomes. Like your turn is coming. Your turn is coming, babe. Oh my god, it’s coming. Just like everyone else’s. Yeah. Right. I’m like, please. Right? Anybody. Anybody at all. But...

Maybe it’s the ribs talking. Before I left for my walk I was like, well I obviously need a snack. Has anyone ever... okay I got a couple. Have you ever ate food underwater? One. Two. Have you ever ate like a snack or like brought a snack like in the shower? Or like a drink in the shower or something like that? Like those places where you’re not supposed to be consuming. It’s just like, I don’t know. It’s fun to do that.

I just find it fun. It just like feels silly. And it’s kind of what I do sometimes on my walks.

I just grabbed two, what I call two pieces of rib. How would you say this? We made ribs last night and there was two, two like rib, rib bones left with meat on it. And so I grabbed that for my walk.

So I’m walking around the subdivision just mowing down on my ribs, bitter about... you know, something not going the way that I preferred. I finished my ribs. I walked down this like little path and then I just hear the girls giggling. And I’m like, wow. This is what it’s all about, baby. Right here. Love is all around you even if it’s not about you.

I feel like the universe was screaming at me. And because I really just want to start just... my rough ass voice memos. My unthought through bullshit. No plan. No nothing. No fucking strategy. Just like uploading this. Like this is what I want to do. So this is what I’m doing. And I’m like, I think this is it. Take it or leave it. Take it or leave it.

I have no idea if this is going to work, but if you’re hearing this, that means that it somehow worked.

So I’ve had a lot of epiphanies recently, and the number one epiphany is I hate the way that I have been expressing myself on social media. Hate it. Disgusting. It’s not who I am. I was trying to conform to these rules, and I just...

I know it has to be made up and you know what, you know, maybe the rules aren’t made up. Well, I mean, everything’s made up. That’s not the point. The point is, the point is, I have literally been fighting for my life trying to figure out internally, asking myself a million questions a day, how I want to show up online. And all I want to do is make voice memos. I don’t want to record my face. I don’t want to have a production. I don’t want to clip. I don’t want to do 5 billion TikToks a day. I don’t care about my... these messaging pillars, the hooks, the captions, the hashtags. I don’t care about none of it. I hate it all. I think it’s stupid. I think it’s rotten. I think all this is so rotten for our brains and I don’t want to be involved in it. And I have really complicated feelings about social media in general, but I do believe in the communication device nature of this. Like, I am saying this like I’m speaking to somebody. I don’t know who I’m talking to right now, but if you’re hearing me, hello. Hello. Okay. But anyways, the point is...

Everything that I believe and everything that I feel and everything that I want to say to people, I have to embody it or I feel sick. I feel off. I feel sick and twisted if I’m not in alignment. Like the price, the cost for me...

Hold on. I need to take a drink of water. I am a little zooted.

But anyways, the price of me not staying true to myself, me not being Jenna, me... whatever. I physically feel off. Like my body speaks to me. I don’t know how else to explain it. If you know, you know. My body’s been screaming at me because I have been trying to... the social media thing. It doesn’t matter. I don’t need to get into it because I’m just not going to participate anymore. I’m moving on. I’m doing what I want to do. Like I’m not... the systems are crumbling. But...

Anyways, I just want to have a voice memo. I just want to express myself. I want this to be what it is.

I really think social media is just rotten. Whether you’re consuming it or creating it, I feel like it’s all rotten. And again, not all of it, but just at least real short-form content. That’s what I mean. Short-form content. I feel like it’s just absolutely rotten. And what these tech billionaire dudes are doing on the back end of all this social media stuff to get and harvest your attention and your time. It’s just so sick and twisted and I... it’s mortifying. It is mortifying to me.

And so I want to express myself because I want to connect with other people. Because I don’t know, it’s who I am. It’s in my nature.

So my idea is I want to, because I just have like, I have thoughts. I have thoughts and I’m thirsty and I want to express myself because I’ve had these ideas and these predictions and oh my god, there’s so many things I don’t share because I can’t figure out how it is I want to convey my message. I’m like, oh my god, do I want to write about it? Do I want to create some visual thing? Do I want to do long form? Do I want to teach it? How do I want to go about expressing myself? Oh my god. A tale as old as time. You know what I mean? But anyways, all I want to do is make voice memos, express myself, and express my predictions because I just need to jump. I need to jump in. I need to land the plane.

I think in the next couple of years, phones, our phones are going to go away. I literally think our phones are going to evolve. They’re going to morph in some capacity. In what way, I don’t know. But I know it. I know it’s going to change.

I think there’s just... I almost think this might be crazy. No, I know it’s not crazy because I see a vision of myself in the future doing this. I literally envision our phones being like earpieces or like glasses or something, because I think we’re going to be able to use our phones for certain tasks, like communication channel tasks or like work that you need to be doing on a computer or something. We’re going to be able to do them through speaking and language and... it’s going to be a different hardware. It’s not going to be the phone. I think it might be an earpiece where you talk. I just... do you know what I mean? Maybe you know what I mean. Maybe you don’t know what I mean. But I just needed to get that off my chest.

I imagine myself wearing a pair of glasses. And I’m waking up. It’s in the morning. I put on these glasses. I get my cup of coffee. I go outside and I start my morning. Just a little walk around the block. Just a little walk around the block, okay? And I’m imagining myself speaking to like my glasses or something, or I’m just like, I have like an earpiece. I don’t know, again, I don’t, I don’t know, I don’t know the details. I don’t know the details. I’m just making a prediction because if I’m right I just want to like have something to point back to. Anyways, but I picture myself hearing a voice saying like, okay Jenna, these were the emails that came in overnight. This is what you have going on today. You have this. John reached out and asked if he could grab dinner at 6. Are you available, yes or no? And then I could be like, yes, I’m available. And then the voice would respond back to me, okay, I will respond for you. Is that okay? And then I say, yes, send. Boom, message sent.

That’s what I mean by like, smartphones are changing. Like I think we’re gonna be able to use technology in that way where we’re not actually looking at a screen, which is my dream. Oh my god, it is my dream to be able to access technology without looking at a screen. Oh my god, I have a bone to pick with screens in general. They make my brain feel like a little crazy rat. I don’t like it. I don’t. The screens for me, it’s like too much.

But nonetheless I wanted to make that prediction and I’m just like, I just want to make voice memos and this is how I’m going to express myself. And I don’t want to do this like, it feels insulting. Like literally, like I hate going online because it’s like ad ad ad ad ad ad ad ad, everything’s a reel and ads, rage bait bullshit. Like it’s crazy. Like being online is insane. It gives me a headache. I hate it. I’m addicted to it. It’s disgusting. Like it’s horrible. It’s just so rotten.

And like, I don’t want to reach my quote-unquote people because that is why I’m doing this. Because like, I just, like, I want to continue to connect with like-minded people so we can just talk, vibe, live, I don’t know, express ourselves with one another, hang out. I’m in Orange County, by the way. So I’m like, if you’re in Orange County, hit me up. Seriously. Please.

But anyways. So what was I saying? Oh wait, what was I saying? Okay, I remember what I was saying. I brought all this up because I don’t want to reach my people through that bullshit. Like I literally think short-form content is such bullshit. I think it’s such bullshit. And I just, like, I can’t participate in it. Oh my god, I feel sick inside that I have been. Ew. I can’t.

I just like, there’s no way. I have to stay true to myself. I feel like, literally, I hate it. I hate it. I think it’s rotten. I think it’s rotten for everybody. Oh my god. I just like, if we could all just get off the phones it would just be so nice.

Well I guess I just really have a bone to pick with just like algorithms and social media and like brain and I just think our brain is so important. And it’s so important for us to protect our brain, protect our thoughts. Because if you keep feeding your brain something again and again and again and again and again, your brain just starts, it starts creating these more like concrete pathways, right? Where it’s just like, it starts embedding itself into your psyche, right? And so if you’re consuming content, you’re consuming just like bullshit. And like your brain is literally changing because of it. And I’m like, oh my god. And like it’s bullshit. Oh my god. Like this brain, it’s like so ratty town. It’s not good.

Oh my god, the neighbors are playing some music. Can you guys hear that? But tonight’s gonna be a good, good night.

I don’t know if you can hear that or not but okay, I’m gonna totally wrap this up now. This is long enough. This is long enough. Also it’s like we’re busy, like I would... oh I’m just gonna do this. I’m gonna do this. This is what I want to do. This is how I want to express myself. So I am. Okay, more to come. More to come.

I love you guys. I hope you have a beautiful day. Cheers. How are you? Wait, I’m like, wait, I’m not done. I’m like, if you are listening to this, how are you doing? Let me know. And I’m not just saying that to like, for someone to follow me or like this or something. Like I’m genuinely like here to vibe, to make connection, to kick it, you know what I’m saying? Like I’m just imagining...

There’s like other women out there. Because I’ve met some. I’ve met some amazing women through social media, and just like being ourself online. Like I have my two favorite people out here, Carlie and Katie. Yes ladies. Like it’s just like we met through social media and like I can’t, I can’t help but to be so like still in it in that way, you know what I mean?

But oh my god, like the TikToks and making a hook and doing a caption and three times a day and posting like this and you have to use these keywords and AI is picking up on the data anyways and so it doesn’t even matter and it’s such like a game and an algorithm and it’s such a nightmare. It’s a nightmare and it’s stupid. But it does have the ability to connect people, which is amazing. So I’m like, okay.

This is my voice. From Ohio. My name is Jenna. And yeah I’m like, I’m not, I don’t want to edit anything. I don’t want to use a microphone. I don’t want to use my face. I don’t want to do some crazy strategy. I just want to be Jenna, damn it. Like that’s so, what this is. This is what, okay, whatever. Enough about me. Good god. Okay anyways, I love you guys and I hope you have a beautiful, magical, glorious day. I’m just gonna rip it on here. Seriously.

Halter is a solar-powered smart collar for cattle. It tracks health, behavior, and location in real time. It creates virtual fences with a sound cue instead of wire. It lets one farmer manage what used to require dozens of people. As of 2026 it runs on 600,000 cattle across New Zealand, Australia, and the United States. American ranchers have replaced more than 11,000 miles of physical fencing with a drawing on a phone screen. The avoided cost alone is $220 million.

Farmer suicide rates in the US run two to five times the national average. These are people carrying animals, land, weather, and market conditions they cannot control, all at once. Halter gives them something they have never had: real-time information from anywhere. The technology makes room for the human. That is the whole point.

Jenna covers the Cowgorithm, what 7 billion hours of animal behavior data actually built, and why cattle guided by virtual fencing are now reducing wildfire fuel on public land in California without a single post in the ground.

This is solar punk. Humans win. Animals win. Land wins. Everyone wins.

Halter: halterhq.com

New episodes every Tuesday. Just Jenna is a solo-host podcast about AI, crumbling systems, and going your own way.

The first: stop telling people your goals before they happen. Not because you don't trust them. Because talk is cheap, and the energy you spend announcing a dream is energy you're not spending building it. Jenna breaks down why broadcasting your intentions feels productive but isn't, what actually happens to your focus when you contain your goals, and why results-first is the only story worth telling.

The second: record your life. Journals, voice memos, notes app, whatever works. Because the proof that things always work out already exists inside your own history -- you just haven't gone back to read it yet. Jenna shares how looking back at her own words gave her a confidence that nothing external ever could, and why seeing the pattern of your own life is one of the most grounding things you can do.

If you've ever announced your next move before you made it, wondered why your goals aren't gaining traction, or forgotten how far you've already come -- this episode is your reminder to keep it close, do the work, and let the results speak.

Follow Jenna on Instagram @jennamarilyn_ and @justjennapod

This week's revillization: no matter what choice you make, it's all crazy. Quit your job or stay. Get married or don't. Go left or go right. Every option is insane, every outcome is uncertain, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you stop sitting in decision paralysis waiting for a certainty that will never come.

The brain is addicted to certainty. It will keep feeding you thoughts, pros and cons lists, what-ifs, anything to create the illusion of a guaranteed outcome. But certainty is a complete illusion.

So what do you do? You stop feeding it. You make the move. You pick the option you'd be proud of, not the one that feels safe, not the one that feels certain, and you keep going.

Because either way? It's gonna be absolutely crazy.

Follow Jenna on Instagram @jennamarilyn_ and the show @justjennapodSpotify: Just Jenna

Figma dropped 7.28%. Adobe fell 2.7%. Wix lost 4.7%. GoDaddy slid 3%. All in a single day. All because one company launched one product. [1][2]

That product was Claude Design. And if you zoom out for a second, you’ll see this isn’t a design story. It’s not even really a tech story. It’s a story about what it means to know something in 2026.

For as long as any of us can remember, knowledge was the barrier. You wanted to build a website, you needed a developer. You wanted a pitch deck, you needed a designer. You wanted to research a market, you needed an analyst. You wanted to write, code, strategize, create, you needed someone who spent years learning how to do that thing. Expertise was the gate. It kept ideas inside people’s heads and out of the world unless they had the right team, the right budget, or the right connections.

That gate is gone.

Anthropic now has a complete product stack. Claude Chat for thinking and writing. Claude Code for building software. Claude Cowork for managing complex work. Claude Design for creating anything visual. [3] You can take an idea from a passing thought on a Tuesday morning to a working prototype, a pitch deck, a website, and a business plan before lunch. One person. No team. No agency. No years of school.

The numbers behind this are staggering. Anthropic went from $9 billion in annualized revenue at the end of 2025 to $30 billion by early April 2026. That’s not growth. That’s acceleration. [4] Claude Code alone hit $2.5 billion in annualized revenue by February 2026, with business subscriptions quadrupling since January. [5] The market has already decided this is real.

And the companies that built their entire business model on the premise that knowledge was scarce are feeling it. Figma held somewhere between 80 and 90 percent of the UI and UX design market. [6] It was one of the biggest IPOs of last year. As of Friday, its stock has fallen more than 80 percent from its post-IPO high. [1] This wasn’t one bad quarter. This is the market pricing in a future where the tool that replaces you was built by your own partner. Anthropic’s Chief Product Officer quietly resigned from Figma’s board the same week the design tool was announced. [2]

But here’s the part I keep coming back to, and the part I think gets lost in the stock-market framing.

This is the best possible news for anyone who has ever had an idea and didn’t know how to make it real.

Think about how many times you’ve said I wish I could build that but I don’t know how to code. Or I have this concept but I can’t afford a designer. Or I want to start something but I don’t have the background. Every single one of those sentences was a knowledge barrier. A thing you didn’t know how to do standing between you and something you actually wanted to create.

That barrier is not gone because AI makes you an expert. It’s gone because expertise is no longer the entry requirement.

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What’s left, the only thing that can’t be automated, is the clarity of what you want to build and the judgment to know if what you made is actually good. That’s it. The question, the taste, the vision, the willingness to iterate. You still have to show up. You still have to think. You still have to care about the outcome. But the mountain of technical knowledge that used to stand between your idea and its existence? That’s being flattened in real time.

73,212 tech workers have been laid off so far in 2026, with companies citing AI efficiency as the reason. [7] That is a painful number and I don’t want to gloss over it. Real people, real livelihoods, real disruption. But underneath that disruption is something that I genuinely believe is a gift for anyone who is early, scrappy, and willing to move.

The playing field is being leveled at a speed no one fully predicted. And leveled doesn’t mean easy. It means accessible. It means the founder who couldn’t afford a team, the creator who never learned to code, the person with a brilliant idea and no technical background, they are no longer locked out.

If you’ve been waiting for the right time to build something, to start something, to try something you’ve been talking yourself out of for years, I want you to sit with this moment. Not the stock numbers. Not the job losses. The thing underneath all of it.

The world just got a lot more democratic.

The question is whether you’re paying attention.

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Sources:

1. OfficeChai, “Figma’s Stock Falls 7% After Anthropic Introduces Claude Design,” April 17, 2026

2. OfficeChai, “Figma’s Stock Falls 7% After Anthropic Introduces Claude Design,” April 17, 2026

3. VentureBeat, “Anthropic just launched Claude Design, an AI tool that turns prompts into prototypes and challenges Figma,” April 17, 2026

4. VentureBeat, “Anthropic just launched Claude Design,” April 17, 2026

5. Sacra, “Anthropic revenue, valuation and funding,” 2026

6. Gizmodo, “Anthropic Launches Claude Design, Figma Stock Immediately Nosedives,” April 17, 2026

7. Yahoo Finance, “Tech stocks today,” April 17, 2026

But then in March 2026, something actually happened.

The most conservative financial product in America just opened its doors to crypto. The White House cleared the path for your 401k, the retirement account most Americans set up once and forget about, to include cryptocurrency. Like hello whattt???

And I couldn’t stop thinking about why.

The way money moves in this world is changing faster than anyone is telling you.

I’m not a financial expert. I’m certainly not an economist. I’m a 26 year old who was a little stoned last night and started pulling on a thread I could not put down. What I found is a combination of things that are already real, things that are actively being built right now behind the scenes, and questions that nobody has answers to yet, including me.

But here’s where my brain went. What if all of this, the AI agents, the crypto, the new laws quietly moving through Washington, what if it’s all pointing toward something nobody is saying out loud yet.

A new economy. One that doesn’t need humans.

Here’s what I found.

So like I said, I was a little stoned last night. I want to be upfront about that. Because I was sitting there just kind of thinking about money, and cryptocurrency, and AI agents trading on behalf of humans, and people giving robots access to their credit cards, and it just started spiraling into something that felt really simple and really huge at the same time.

And I had to write it down.

Here’s where my brain started. The value of a US dollar is decreasing. That’s not my opinion, that’s just true. And I started thinking about why, and I ended up somewhere way bigger than inflation.

Everything is made up.

Like, actually. We made up rules. We made up money. We made up the structures we live in. We decided, collectively, that this piece of paper means something. And the only reason it means something is because enough of us agree that it does. And I think when the collective stops believing in something, it stops existing. That’s always been true. And I think that’s what’s starting to happen, slowly, quietly, faster than most people realize.

What’s Already Happening

Money was made by humans, for humans. Every single system built around it assumes a person on both ends of the transaction. Banks, credit scores, retirement accounts, stock markets, goods and services, all of it. The entire architecture of modern finance was designed around human identity being the thing that makes a transaction real.

That assumption is starting to break. And I don’t think most people are paying attention to how fast.

Cryptocurrency was the first financial technology that didn’t require a human identity to participate. And I think that’s actually wild when you sit with it. Because actual physical money, the dollar, the euro, whatever, humans made that. Humans gave it meaning. It requires humans to exist on each end of the exchange for it to work.

Cryptocurrency is not that. Cryptocurrency is machine currency. It was made by machines, it moves between machines, and it doesn’t care if there’s a human involved or not.

A Bitcoin wallet is just a cryptographic key pair. Think of it like a padlock and a key. The padlock is your public address, you share it openly, it’s how people send you things. The private key is the only thing that can open it. It’s the proof that you own what’s there. And here’s the thing: that wallet doesn’t know if it belongs to a person, a company, or a piece of software. No name. No Social Security number. No ID check. It just signs transactions and moves.

That sounds like a technical detail. It’s not. It’s a structural shift in how money can move.

Because it means software can hold money. Not on behalf of a human, although it can be. But it doesn’t need to be. An autonomous agent can own an asset, receive payment, send payment, and complete an entire transaction without a human touching any part of it. These wallets are real. These transactions are happening right now.

And then there’s this, which I think is being massively underreported.

As of August 2025, an Executive Order expanded the ability for 401k plans to include digital assets like Bitcoin and Ethereum.(1) Your employer sponsored retirement account, the one most people set up once and never think about again, now has the ability to include crypto. And then in March 2026, the White House cleared the path for the Department of Labor to formally publish a rule opening the door to cryptocurrencies in 401k retirement plans.(2)

Here’s why that number matters. Americans held about $10.1 trillion in 401k accounts at the end of 2025.(3) If just one percent of that moved into Bitcoin, that would represent approximately $139 billion in new demand.(4) To put that in perspective: every Bitcoin ETF ever launched in the United States has collected around $45 billion combined since January 2024. One percent of 401k money would be more than triple that. Combined. Ever.

This is not a fringe crypto conversation anymore. This is the most conservative financial product most Americans own starting to move toward digital assets. That changes the entire scale of this discussion.

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Where It Goes From Here

Here’s the thought that actually broke my brain a little.

If AI agents can transact autonomously, and the mainstream financial infrastructure is now legitimizing crypto at the retirement account level, you don’t just have a new payment method. You potentially have a whole new kind of economy. One that doesn’t need us.

Think about what an economy actually is at its core. It’s just entities exchanging value. That’s it. Humans built economic systems because we needed to coordinate at scale, across strangers, across distances, across time. We needed a way to say I’ll give you this if you give me that, and have it mean something.

AI agents have the same coordination problem. A complex AI system already involves dozens of specialized agents, ones that search, write, verify, manage memory. Right now they’re coordinated by code inside a single system, essentially working for free inside a bigger machine. Nobody’s paying them. Nobody needs to.

But what happens when those agents are independent? When they’re built by different people, offered as services, and need to be compensated for what they provide?

You get agent to agent commerce. One agent hiring another. Micropayments flowing between software in real time. An entire economic layer operating faster than any human can observe, settled in crypto, because crypto doesn’t require a human identity to receive it.

And I keep thinking, is anyone else talking about this? Because when I started pulling on this thread I couldn’t stop. If your AI agent goes and does a job for another AI agent, they need to exchange value somehow. They need a way to say here is my product, now give me payment. And that’s going to happen through cryptocurrency. Because it’s machine created money, built to move between machines, without asking anyone’s permission.

I think we’re watching the building blocks of an agentic economy get laid in real time. And most people don’t even know it’s happening.

The Oversight Problem Nobody Wants to Be Honest About

The standard concern about AI agents handling money without oversight is: things could go wrong fast. Fraud, manipulation, cascading failures.

And my first thought was, so you mean act like humans?

Because look at what humans have actually done with financial systems. Enron, one of the most celebrated companies in America for years, turned out to be one of the largest corporate frauds in history. Executives lied to investors, lied to employees, hid billions in debt, and thousands of people lost their entire retirement savings when it collapsed.(5) Humans engineered the mortgage collapse in 2008. Humans run pump and dump schemes, insider trading, currency manipulation, continuously, at enormous scale. The oversight humans provide over financial systems is also the primary source of corruption inside those same systems.

So the argument that AI is uniquely dangerous because it lacks human oversight deserves way more scrutiny than it gets. AI agents don’t have greed. They don’t make backroom deals. They don’t have ego driving decisions that hurt other people. They execute what they’re designed to execute. Which, honestly, is more than you can say for most of the people who have been running financial institutions.

The real risk isn’t malice. It’s speed combined with a flawed design. A shitty human, a fraudster, has judgment. They know when to stop, or at least they have the consciousness to pump the brakes. An AI agent executing a bad strategy just keeps running at machine speed until something external stops it.

The 2010 Flash Crash is the example. Algorithms trading against each other with no meaningful human in the loop. The Dow dropped nearly 1,000 points in minutes.(6) No bad intent. No fraud. Just machines executing their logic faster than anyone could intervene. And my immediate thought was, well, what if you just built an agent whose job is to intervene?

It’s not that humans are trustworthy and AI isn’t. It’s that human failure is slower and more legible. AI failure is faster and harder to catch in real time. Both are real risks. One just feels more familiar. And familiar doesn’t mean smaller.

What We Actually Don’t Know Yet

Let me be clear that I actually don’t know anything. I was just thinking about this last night and I needed to articulate it. To myself, I guess. And to whoever else is sitting around thinking about this stuff and wants to talk about it.

Every economy needs a stable medium of exchange. We all agree on the value of a dollar, right? That agreement is what makes it function. Crypto hasn’t solved that. Bitcoin swinging 30 percent in a month works fine for speculation and completely breaks down for an economy where agents are pricing services and honoring contracts. If agents are operating in this new economy, they need to be able to price themselves against something stable. Otherwise how does anything get valued?

A functioning agentic economy probably needs a crypto asset that behaves more like a utility than a speculative bet. Maybe that gets built. Maybe it already exists and just needs adoption. Maybe I’m wrong and stability doesn’t matter the way I think it does. Genuinely open question. I don’t think anyone actually knows yet.

Here’s the thing that worries me though. The agentic economy sounds decentralized until you think about who actually builds the agents. Because we already live in a world where a small number of people control an enormous amount of the money and the markets. And if the most capable agents come from a small number of large companies, which is almost certainly what happens if nothing changes, then you don’t have a decentralized system. You have a new kind of oligopoly with software at the top instead of people.

And then this whole new economy is just the same system we already live in, except robots are doing it.

Which would be such a waste of the opportunity.

There needs to be serious regulation built around this before it scales. And the legal frameworks don’t exist yet. Who is liable when an agent makes a bad trade? Who pays taxes on the gains? Can software be a legal party to a contract? Nobody has answers.(7) But something is shifting behind the scenes. The fact that the Department of Labor threatened to investigate retirement plans that offered crypto in 2022 and by 2026 is publishing rules to open the door to it, that reversal happened in under four years.(8) The big players know something. Pay attention to what’s moving.

The part that doesn’t get talked about enough, and where I actually feel hopeful, is access. If anyone can deploy an agent and that agent can participate in economic systems that were previously closed to them, no bank account required, no credit history, no citizenship, that changes who gets to play. Someone without the education or the capital to make traditional financial moves could just get an agent and let it participate on their behalf. That’s genuinely exciting to me. That’s the version of this I want to see happen.

And then there’s the question nobody has answered yet. In a fully agentic economy, who actually captures the value? The person who deployed the agent? The person who trained the model it runs on? Nobody, because the transaction happened entirely between software? The economics of attribution in a machine economy are completely unsettled. And the problem is harder than it sounds.

Here’s the Bottom Line

Something is in motion. I don’t know exactly what yet. But crypto removed the human identity requirement from financial transactions. AI agents can already hold wallets and execute transactions autonomously. The concept of agents hiring other agents is actively being built right now. And retirement accounts are starting to include crypto exposure at a scale that could send hundreds of billions of dollars into digital assets.

The assumption baked into every financial system ever built, that there is a human on both ends of every meaningful transaction, is going to be tested in the next decade in ways we genuinely don’t have frameworks for.

I’m not saying this is good or bad. I’m saying it’s happening. And the people thinking seriously about it now, before it’s obvious, are the ones who will have something worth saying when it becomes front page news.

If you’re thinking about this too, or you actually know things I don’t, genuinely, let’s talk. Because I’m just out here like, hello.

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Sources: (1) Executive Order on digital assets in 401k plans, August 7, 2025 (2) Department of Labor proposed rule, March 2026 (3) Investment Company Institute / Federal Reserve retirement account data, end of 2025 (4) Analysis based on DOL reported 401k asset figures and Bitcoin ETF cumulative inflow data (5) Enron Corporation bankruptcy and fraud, 2001 (6) SEC and CFTC joint report on the May 6, 2010 Flash Crash (7) Department of Labor, Treasury, and SEC coordination on digital asset frameworks, ongoing (8) DOL guidance reversal, 2022 to 2026

After 12 days of nonstop work, Jenna hit a wall. This episode is what came out of a three-hour mountain hike, a lot of tears, and one very clear revillization: stop diagnosing yourself for someone else's symptoms.

Your energy, your ambition, your love. None of it needs to change. The container does.

Topics: burnout, ambition, authenticity, emotional intelligence, self-worth, high achievers

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_

Podcast Instagram: @justjennapod

Email: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

After 12 days of nonstop work, Jenna hit a wall. This episode is what came out of a three-hour mountain hike, a lot of tears, and one very clear revillization: stop diagnosing yourself for someone else's symptoms.

Your energy, your ambition, your love. None of it needs to change. The container does.

Topics: burnout, ambition, authenticity, emotional intelligence, self-worth, high achievers

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_

Spotify: Just Jenna

Email: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

She breaks down the difference between your true nature and the version of you that was shaped by family, culture, survival, and approval. Not as something wrong, but as something built. And why real growth is not about improving that version. It’s about seeing it clearly, questioning it, and slowly removing what was never yours to begin with.

Jenna explores Carl Jung’s framework of individuation, including the persona, the shadow, and the integration of masculine and feminine energy. She connects it back to real life. Relationships, attraction, self-trust, and why so many people are unknowingly projecting unmet parts of themselves onto others instead of integrating them internally.

This episode is not a light or easy take on self-growth. It is a conversation about what it actually feels like to become more conscious. The confusion, the isolation, the identity loss, and the uncomfortable honesty that comes with seeing yourself clearly.

If you’ve been questioning everything, outgrowing people, or feeling like your life is falling apart as you become more aware, this is a reminder that nothing is wrong with you.

You’re not lost. You’re seeing clearly.

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_

Email: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

She breaks down the difference between your true nature and the version of you that was shaped by family, culture, survival, and approval. Not as something wrong, but as something built. And why real growth is not about improving that version. It’s about seeing it clearly, questioning it, and slowly removing what was never yours to begin with.

Jenna explores Carl Jung’s framework of individuation, including the persona, the shadow, and the integration of masculine and feminine energy. She connects it back to real life. Relationships, attraction, self-trust, and why so many people are unknowingly projecting unmet parts of themselves onto others instead of integrating them internally.

This episode is not a light or easy take on self-growth. It is a conversation about what it actually feels like to become more conscious. The confusion, the isolation, the identity loss, and the uncomfortable honesty that comes with seeing yourself clearly.

If you’ve been questioning everything, outgrowing people, or feeling like your life is falling apart as you become more aware, this is a reminder that nothing is wrong with you.

You’re not lost. You’re seeing clearly.

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_

Email: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

What if the reason you feel behind, broken, or like you’re doing life wrong has nothing to do with you being wrong at all?

Jenna introduces the idea of a personal curriculum. The understanding that every person is living a completely different set of lessons, timelines, and tests. What works for one person might not work for another. Not because one is right and the other is wrong, but because they’re in different programs.

She breaks down how constantly looking sideways, copying other people, and following advice without context leads to confusion and frustration. Like turning in homework for a class you’re not even enrolled in, and wondering why nothing works.

This episode is a reminder to return your attention to your own life. What keeps showing up. What feels important. What you can’t ignore. That is your material.

Jenna also shares how she makes decisions, how she distinguishes fear from truth in her body, and why following yourself removes the idea of failure altogether.

You’re not behind. You’re just looking in the wrong direction.

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_

Email: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

What if the reason you feel behind, broken, or like you’re doing life wrong has nothing to do with you being wrong at all?

Jenna introduces the idea of a personal curriculum. The understanding that every person is living a completely different set of lessons, timelines, and tests. What works for one person might not work for another. Not because one is right and the other is wrong, but because they’re in different programs.

She breaks down how constantly looking sideways, copying other people, and following advice without context leads to confusion and frustration. Like turning in homework for a class you’re not even enrolled in, and wondering why nothing works.

This episode is a reminder to return your attention to your own life. What keeps showing up. What feels important. What you can’t ignore. That is your material.

Jenna also shares how she makes decisions, how she distinguishes fear from truth in her body, and why following yourself removes the idea of failure altogether.

You’re not behind. You’re just looking in the wrong direction.

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_

Email: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

Jenna breaks down what financial, emotional, and life skill dependence actually look like in real life and why they're subtle enough that most people don't catch them until the resentment is already there. It starts small. Your music changes. Your timeline shifts. Your opinions get quieter. Not because anyone is forcing anything, but because dependence rewrites the rules without announcing itself. The person who controls the resources controls the conditions. Full stop.

This episode is not about being hyper independent or never receiving support. It is about becoming capable. About knowing that you are the source of what you want and building the capacity to create it. Because when two self-resourced people come together, the relationship stops being about survival and becomes about expansion.

If you have ambition, a fire, something inside you that keeps knocking, this is your reminder not to bury it. Go build something. Make your own money. Call your own shots. Freedom lets you choose from desire, not dependence.

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_ Email thoughts or reflections to: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

Jenna breaks down what financial, emotional, and life skill dependence actually look like in real life and why they're subtle enough that most people don't catch them until the resentment is already there. It starts small. Your music changes. Your timeline shifts. Your opinions get quieter. Not because anyone is forcing anything, but because dependence rewrites the rules without announcing itself. The person who controls the resources controls the conditions. Full stop.

This episode is not about being hyper independent or never receiving support. It is about becoming capable. About knowing that you are the source of what you want and building the capacity to create it. Because when two self-resourced people come together, the relationship stops being about survival and becomes about expansion.

If you have ambition, a fire, something inside you that keeps knocking, this is your reminder not to bury it. Go build something. Make your own money. Call your own shots. Freedom lets you choose from desire, not dependence.

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_ Email thoughts or reflections to: jenna.andrix@gmail.com

Jenna explores what happens when a belief system you have carried for years suddenly stops feeling true. Many of us build quiet formulas for our lives. If I do A, then B will happen, and eventually I will arrive at C. We treat that sequence like reality, like the only way life could possibly unfold. But sometimes that entire structure is built on a single assumption. And when the assumption dissolves, the whole formula dissolves with it.

This episode is about the strange mix of freedom and uncertainty that appears when an old belief stops being true. Sometimes growth is not about rewriting your story. Sometimes the old story simply stops being real. When that happens, life becomes less predictable, but also more open. Instead of trying to control the alphabet of how things will unfold, maybe your only job is to keep participating and let the next step reveal itself.

Follow Jenna on Instagram: @jennamarilyn_Email thoughts or reflections to: jenna.andrix@gmail.com